Nudes, summer, wandering...

Summer appears to be here but it also seems the time of year I feel a little off track. I have not gotten used to the structured seasons that Boston has. Spring came/went so quick. Things were busy, great, everyone was out meeting people & enjoying the lack of snow. But that season quickly passes and now the travel season has set in. I still have not mastered this whole summer vacation thing. When I was in Los Angeles I always took my "vacations" in the winter. Christmas in Boston, January in Utah, maybe another short trip to San Fran some other part of the year. Here everyone seems to come and go in unison and suddenly I am left in the city leaving voicemails on friends phones realizing I'll be watching Netflix movies or biking around an empty city for a few days.

I'm in between paintings at the moment. I lost some steam with open studios and I haven't quite got my rhythm back. There are several things I know I should be doing next. Applying for grants/residencies/shows, writing a decent artist statement, and finding some models (men too, I want to paint men right now, but they're skittish models sometimes.)

To hopefully find a little inspiration I did some life drawing this weekend. I tried some new pencils & pens and quickly realized why I never really use colored pencils. Looking at the sketches after a few days they do look a little better. Maybe I had a more productive Memorial day weekend than I thought. But I still wish they were better. I don't really like life drawing sessions because they always do such quick poses (10 minutes longest?) I like to have up to 30 minutes. I would really like to do even longer and paint. I don't like poses under 5 minutes. But it's hard to find sessions that don't do a majority of 1-5 minute poses. What's funny is that everyone complains about it but they keep setting up the sessions that way.

Here are some sketches from that session, there are more on Flickr. The space was small so it was hard to get enough distance from the model. She was a good model though- Lucie from Paris. I'd like to have her pose for painting in a set-up more in my own control.

Drowned Flowers

This is my favorite still life I've done this year. I'm not a big fan of still lifes but this is the closest I have gotten to painting one that had a little bit of my point of view in it. I wish I did a few more along the same lines but my energy faltered after this.

I did a few other quick still lifes, mainly of desserts. I let go of trying to put big concepts into the paintings since I did not have much time to dwell on anything longer than a couple hours at a time. Here are some samples:









There's a few more coming that I didn't scan since they had very thick paint and needed time to dry. I also have many more figure paintings coming but I'm still waiting on drying paint before I tote them back to my studio to photograph.

After the rush...

...inevitably comes the crash. That's where I am. Whenever there is a busy season of shows, open studios, grant applications, end of the semester stuff, etc., there is always the extreme quiet that follows. And a massive head cold. I'm not good at admitting that I'm sick. I'll try to do as much as I do when I'm well. Like biking 50+ miles last week... in the rain... while sweating, feverish, and dizzy from congestion. It finally caught up to me today. When I woke up I realized I wasn't going to be able to go anywhere, at least not fast. So I took the day to try and be a normal sick person. Probably a good idea since it took me 2 hrs to move from my bed to the couch. Of course then once I was sitting up I realized I was really really bored.

But because I can't just watch movies all day and be unproductive like a normal sick person I'm going to catch up on posting some art. So here is another batch of cafe sketches. I admit I have been loosing steam on the cafe sketches and will probably have to change it up again soon and find some new inspiration. Maybe I will go back to sketching at concerts or join in on some life drawing sessions now that I have a little more time. Or landscapes when it stops raining already. Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgh.



This is a self portrait I drew at LA Burdick. I used to go there more when I was in between jobs and could visit at times where there was seating. I decided to break my Biscuit habit and go again except there weren't many people to draw. But there were some mirrors so I tried a self portrait. It doesn't look exactly like me but I still like the overall composition.



Now that the weather is a little better (at least some days) I can get some different angles of people on the patio at the Biscuit. But it's harder to be discreet when drawing people since all the seating faces inward. I like this sketch (above) and was enjoying pencil for a bit. However the next few drawings are a bit uninspired to me. I'm starting to feel like they're all looking the same. People talking. People eating. People typing. I feel like there's something missing but I'm not sure what....







I think this very old sketch is a hint to what is missing:



It's a sketch of my friend Guillermo in Los Angeles (2006?) which I should probably re-scan for a better representative image.The text reads "I am ready to work I am so bored every day..." which is what he was saying as I drew him. I think I want to draw portraits of people that are less voyeuristic, less from the outside. Perhaps of friends. Perhaps over serious conversations like we had that evening.

Revised Summer Plans?

I was going to bike around New England and paint landscapes, and I still might do that. I've even been working on my bike so that it can carry my plein-air art gear. I'm very close to having it together. However, I realized that happy little landscapes with cows and New England churches is *not* what I want to paint. Look at my painting "Exodus" posted above. That is a landscape I did. It's not very happy. It was inspired by a long stretch of desert in Arizona full of rusted out abandoned cars. This is the sort of thing I want to paint. So, new plan. I am researching landscapes that have a combination of pastoral & industrial features. Nuclear plants and ocean views. Steel factories near woods. Shipping centers near mountains. I've told this to a few people and they've all looked at me like I have two heads. I could be offended, but really it makes me want to do it more. I'm sure people won't be lining up to buy a painting of a nuclear plant. But we see ugly things in the landscape around us every day and choose to edit it out. We look at the daffodils the neighbor planted. But not the factory nestled beyond the trees of their yard. I can't paint the beauty of nature without mankind's mark on it-- nothing has been left untouched. So currently I am researching this new trip. I am also hoping to apply for some grants. Maybe I could go paint the rusted out cars from life. (And I'm hoping my fear of scorpions won't deter me.)

Cafe Stories @ the biscuit (I should just move there)

I usually do one or two sketches a week over coffee & pastries at the Biscuit (when I can get a seat.) I enjoy watching people and drawing them, capturing their look, body language, snippets of conversation, or my own thoughts. This is different from my painting, and doesn't really tie into it. But it shows what I am naturally drawn to- just people. Their lives, stories, who they might be, what they are going through. If I don't know who they are I make it up. I've also been bringing a random assortment of pencils, markers, conte crayons, chalk around with me. It has been giving me more options and a chance to get creative with the medium. Sometimes I add acrylic paint or ink later in my studio- but I try not to mess with it too much.

The girl in the drawing above was going through some big relationship drama and was having a very serious (and loud) conversation about it. There were some cultural differences as I understood it. I was really drawn to the guy reading to the left just over the center figure's shoulder. I liked his glasses. I decided that he was a student studying Spanish who also writes short stories. I tried to do a close up of him but he left in the middle of it:



I don't know what this couple was talking about, they were sort of boring. I think the guy picked up I was drawing him and kept looking over. He looked like the type that would have a dull job at a place like State Street but would would also run marathons.

This guy below was in a group of three other guys. They were all in some sort of science field and were comparing notes on their various jobs/projects. I couldn't tell if they were talking about neuroscience or computer science. This guy had very fascinating lips and head shape.



I saw this guy at Sherman Cafe (see, I do sometimes go to other cafes...) I've seen him around that same area since- once on a bicycle wearing a trash bag to keep the rain off. I could draw his hair/beard all day. Maybe I'll see him around again and get to do just that.



This girl had really cool headphones. I liked her glasses. When she go up to use the restroom she took them both off and it was like one of those scenes in a movie where the nerdy girl takes off her glasses and is model hot. Yep, she looked like she could model. But you can't really see it in the sketch.



Block 11 in Union Square is not always good to draw at. If it's crowded then there are usually only seats in the back where the light is bad and it's hard to have a good angle to see people. I usually bring a book there just in case there is nothing to draw. In this case there was a threesome. My ears perked up when they starting talking about Los Angeles. I think the older lady (you can just see her eye peeking out) was giving advice to the couple. Maybe they were moving there?



That's all for now...

Summer Plans

It came about when I dropped my bike off for a tune up and failed to calculate a timely return trip home on the bus. There happened to be a row of vintage clothing shops right there. (And a cupcake shop but that has nothing to do with this story. But I did stop there too.) I hate trying on clothes so I was really just looking at accessories. Sunglasses, scarves, belts, bags. And I came across a huge navy blue canvas back pack for $25. Now having just browsed back packs at the bike shop $25 was an awesome deal. (Biking back packs are over $100? really? And they're heavy even when empty. And sporty ugly. Why?) So I went with the $25 one. One the 1.5 mile walk home (still no bus) and the 1 mile walk to my studio I realized what I want to do this summer for a little vacation. I'm going to take all my paints and brushes and put them in the back pack. And then bike around either Vermont or New Hampshire or upstate NY or the Cape or the coast and stop wherever & whenever to paint good views. That's all, simple, remote, cheap, no fuss. How does that sound?

However the bicycle pictured above is not the one I would take. That's what I call my Saturday Bike because it's lazy and hates hills and loves posing outside of cafe's for curious passersby. I'd take my hybrid that likes dirt and roads and potholes.

Next to figure out:

1. Narrow down what region I should go to. Just a bit.
2. Find a travel who likes a) bikes b) art c) sunshine d) going slow
3. Devise a system for transporting wet paintings by bicycle
4. Where to sleep since I don't think camping will work- hard to carry both painting & sleeping gear

YOU'RE INVITED! Somerville Open Studios

SOMERVILLE OPEN STUDIOS
Once again I am participating in Somerville Open Studios. I will have many new paintings, old favorites, and tons of things to buy. I am also working out a way to accept credit cards so there are no excuses this year. Please stop by my studio and say hi. I will have good food and wine. There are also 300 other artists participating across the city. Bring your bicycle and make a day of it!

There will also be a party at some point on the rooftop deck of the studio. I will let you know about that when I have the details. Also there are 2 other related exhibitions I am participating in- one at Bloc 11 (up now) and one at the Somerville Museum (opening April 15th.) Please check those out if you can. However, the open studio itself is the big event and I hope you will come.

WHEN?
Saturday, April 30 · 12:00pm - 6:00pm
Sunday, May 1 · 12:00pm - 6:00pm

WHERE?
All over Somerville MA. However, my studio is located at:

Mad Oyster Studios, 2 Bradley Street, Somerville, MA

MORE INFO:
Visit the official site at Somerville Open Studios
Visit Somerville's Diverse + Vibrant Arts Community
Over 300 artists in over 100 venues will open their homes and studios for the 12th Annual Somerville Open Studios Event on April 30 & May 1, 2011, noon to 6pm.

During this free showcase for the arts, mid-career and emerging artists working across a broad spectrum of fine art styles and craft media will exhibit their work to the public.

Visitors to SOS will be treated to displays of art in both traditional and non-traditional spaces throughout the city.

Getting around Somerville
SOS attendees are encouraged to use public transport, the Somerville Open Studios Trolleys, bikes scooter and walk by foot if possible.

Trolleys
During the event Trolley service is available to help visitors get around. Trolleys will at approximately 15 minute intervals during SOS hours. Signs indicating where stops are located will be posted. The trolley route will be available in the map book.

Painting Studies

I'm currently taking a class at MassArt called the Powers of Observation with Catherine Kehoe. For the class I've been doing about 2 paintings a week for several months now. There's a few weeks left in the class still but I wanted to posted what I've done so far. These were all done from life in about 3 hrs more or less. I wanted to take the class because I've become so dependent on photographs from my main paintings that I have fallen into some bad habits. The class is helping to break some of that up and give me some fresh new technique and ideas. No earth tones were used in any of these. The goal of the paintings is to mix the exact color we see and paint it directly. It can be a bit mechanical sometimes and gets tricky with the figure. However it is definitely worth taking the time and pushing to get it as close as possible. I expect this to eventually influence my regular wood and help make it stronger with color, more nuanced, and more bold overall. Head over to my Flickr to see the paintings I've done so far.

Jackpot!

I'm still unpacking my last boxes from moving before the holidays. Most of the boxes have been full of those miscellaneous things that probably should have been tossed or donated like hair curlers and accessories to the toaster oven (which is why I have been procrastinating unpacking them.) Except, just when I have reconciled myself to an uninteresting afternoon of moving crap around I find over 7 FEET OF RAW CANVAS!!!!!!! I must have hoarded it away several years ago and forgot. This is like finding gold. Okay, maybe more like finding a $20. It still makes me happy because I started building a 7ft canvas frame the other day only to find I had no canvas left. Just scraps. I've put myself on a vicious art supply budget (of $0, because I already blew my budget on many many tubes of pricey paint like cadmiums and cerulean) so I thought there was no hope of getting to start this massive painting before summer. And now I will get to start it. Provided I don't run out of oil priming ground first. Or oil paints. Or time.

My Paris Sketchbook (and some news)

This fall has been a flurry of activity and everything is moving way to fast. I have just returned from a much needed vacation in Paris where I spent my time not going to any important tourist sites. Instead I hung around cafes and gardens and met locals and sketched people and things around me. I ate enough pastry that I became a near expert on where to find the best croissants in the city (depending on whether you prefer buttery, flaky or soft croissants. If you're in Paris and in need of croissants, see Eric Kayser.) I made friends, shopped at local markets, explored out of the way neighborhoods, and partied into the night at wine & art festivals while normal tourists were asleep in their beds - butt bags & maps resting on the nightstand. It was a very fun trip and it definitely deserves several posts which hopefully I will get too soon. For now you can see sketches I did there on my flickr site:

PARIS SKETCHBOOK

In other news, I am in the process of starting a new full time job (hooray for income!) and subsequently moving to some sort of apartment closer to my studio & job. It will be a welcome change to have a place of my own and be able to once again get around to most places I need to go to via bike/public transit. I hate driving-- it numbs the mind. Plus it makes me angry and mumble to myself like a nut. I've been driving 60 miles a day for the last 2 years and I am done with cars, traffic, and parking. How do people do this their whole life? I like keeping my life contained in 5-10 square miles, preferably with some bike lanes, farmer's market, and hiking options. It's going to be crazy for the next month or 2 until I find a place and settle in-- but hopefully it will mean that I will be able to focus much more on art, new shows, and more paintings!

As for the fall, my website has been partially updated. It still needs tweaking (I got distracted) but am hoping to finish updating it at some point in the next month or two. I am also reworking artist statements, bios, etc. and hopefully applying to a few things as well as contemplating proposing and curating a group or 2-person show. It will all be a lot of work and I have been thrown off by some of the mundane real world things I have had to do-- but it is on my list and I am planning to make 2011 a year of new paintings and art shows.

This month I will have some paintings published in the October issue of Wild Apples: Dwelling, Refuge, Shelter. I am very excited to be a part of this and hope you will check it out. Wild Apples is a literary & arts publication with a mix of poetry, fiction, and artwork. Here is a better description from their site:

[Wild Apples] seeks to educate the public through the arts about ways to live sustainably on the earth. In pursuit of that goal, our primary activity is the publication of a 48-page, full-color, soft cover arts magazine called Wild Apples: a journal of nature, art, and inquiry. Taking its name and inspiration from Henry David Thoreau's essay, "Wild Apples," the journal brings together the work of artists, writers, and photographers who are connected by the common threads of care for the environment, engagement in social concerns, and commitment to the arts and the way they shape our world. We also engage in outreach activities, which have included art and poetry workshops and presentations at schools, libraries, prisons, museums, and other community venues, and we occasionally publish products of these activities.

Updates coming, delayed due to flooding...

I have returned from a much needed vacation in Paris! I have many many sketches to share, and maybe some photos & videos. However there will be a slight delay in sharing since my studio flooded while I was away. It's a long story and in the end it won't be a big deal (nothing important was damaged) but in the meantime it is very musty and impossible to work in until everything is cleaned up and aired out. Once this is done I'll get back to business in the studio and have some images for you!

A Break for Inspiration

My sister says I shouldn't post my vacation plans online because of a chance of burglary. But, see, I don't actually have a home to rob. Or apartment. So if anyone somehow manages to burgle me while I'm away it might actually make me feel impressed that they found someplace to break into. Hopefully they'll leave me a note and let me know where that home is so I might live there.

So here are my vacation plans. I spend 9 days in Paris. My itinerary includes: jazz, opera, art, wine, cheese, pastry, cafes, sketching, books, flea markets, Van Gogh, Manet, & some Hemingway. My itinerary does NOT include: the eiffel tower, the Mona Lisa, the Arc de Triomphe, Notre Dame, waiting in lines, saying dull ignorant things loudly in English, staring at maps, buying chotchkies and general crap.

It will be a wonderful break from a drab year of searching for jobs, making ends meet, crashing with family, and trying to find the peace of mind to paint pictures.

Au revoir!

All the Things I Own Except a Home

This a new graphite sketch for a painting I am planning- something I have been working on for a while to get the right look. Originally it was set in a desert, then a marsh, and then I put it in a forest, and then it took many bike trips around state parks and other wooded areas to find the right forest setting for reference. I also had significantly more stuff including pots hanging on the trees, bookshelves, more boxes, etc. I didn't know what pose I wanted the figure in until a few weeks ago- but when I did it all finally started falling into place. I want the figure to be nude-- but not explicit. I want it to be ordinary with a person going about normal business- but she is not indoors in a safe and private space. She is outdoors where she is exposed and vulnerable. The pose was inspired by photograph I saw-- and I still need to find a model to recreate it and adjust it for the painting. I did this sketch to force myself to think things out more specifically. There is something about drawing out an idea that calls attention to even the most minute details in a way that photography and Photoshop never do. It is a way of becoming intimately familiar with every line and shadow. It keeps me from looking and thinking too quickly and ensures I know all of the potential pitfalls and attend to any issues. This painting will be called "All the Things I Own Except a Home" and will be 3x4 ft when complete. It is about not having a place to live or a place where one can relax, be themselves, and have time alone doing ordinary things. Or it is about trying to make a home in a place that is exposed and uncomfortable and not meant for a permanent sort of lifestyle. I need to do some color studies next to pin down the color- I am not sure if I'll make it very lush green or something more desaturated and toned down. Recently I took a look back at an older painting I did ages ago called "The Jungle" and might use that as a jumping off point for color, but with the figure less orange. Here is a an image of that painting:



"The Jungle" was one of the first paintings I did after I decided to leave the film industry. But while I was still in film school and starting to have doubts about being there, I took a photography class where I did a series of self-portraits. These eventually became the starting point for most of my paintings and most of what I still do is still rooted in them. The are called "Imposed Geometry" and mostly have to do with putting manmade elements and structures in a natural environment. But they also have to do with vulnerability and domesticity. Here are two that are particularly relevant:





The first one is in a destroyed adobe house in Malibu Creek State park. I had to wait for a quiet moment with no one passing by in order to strip down to a slip for the pose. The second one was taken in a park in Culver City. My favorite part is that you can see an oil derrick in the distance on the hill in the upper right corner. The oil derricks in that park inspired my Edge of the World series. But they were hard to use in photographs because they all had chain link fences around them.

Experiments in Graphite

I've been mostly drawing lately, partly because I have more ideas than I can keep up with and want to attend to as many as possible. Drawing is much faster and I can turn things around in a week rather than a few months. I was working mostly in charcoal which is very painterly and fluid. But I saw another artist working in graphite and liked his work so I thought I would give it a shot. Graphite is not very fluid and lends itself much more to messy cross-hatching and detail linework. It also does not produce a rich black and heavy layers of it turn more silver gray and catch the light (for better or for worse.) There is something magical about the silvery quality of graphite that I think can work in my drawings, but sometimes the gray quality seems to lack boldness.

I did this drawing above sometime last week, it is called "Roses" for now. It was my first experiment and so I did not really fuss over the subject matter. The figure is someone I met at an art show a few months back and asked to pose for me. Generally I am too shy to approach strangers and ask favors but I've made a resolution to overcome my shyness. My old mainstay of getting models from Craigslist is great when it works. But I never know who will respond and sometimes there are painting/drawing ideas I put off because of it.

The Bedroom Trees

I completed this drawing "The Bedroom Trees" recently after fussing over it on and off for a month. Most of my problems were technical and conceptual. I wasn't sure if it really made any sense, and then I also learned I am crap at perspective. The original idea was a bedroom with trees growing in it. I haven't drawn much with perspective or anything architectural in a long time-- probably not since college. But also figuring out how to draw large trees growing inside is hard to do because there isn't anything to reference. I realized quickly how hard it was to turn my idea into reality and had problems figuring out the logistics of how it would work in an image. You can see that where the tops of trees meet the ceiling is a bit non-specific-- that was me deciding to leave it ambiguous after several attempts to be more precise and have the space make sense. I think if I turned this into a painting, it would need many more studies-- but I'll probably leave it as a drawing for now.

The idea of it came from wanting to capture an uncomfortable living space-- a place that should be restful but things are coming in and overtaking it. It is also meant to be dreamlike and lonely, and the figure is everywhere but in actually in bed resting. I like to repeat figures to show different states of mind and sort of imply a progression of thoughts or mood.

The New Studio

I have been missing in action on the blog lately- partly due to procrastination, lack of reliable internet & free time, and general busy-ness. I was wrapped up in preparing for the Somerville Open Studios which meant I took a detour from my usual grand scale paintings to do more small scale landscapes. I planned to return to painting and start a new large series of pieces but instead I ended up having to move studios and contribute to another small show. So instead of new paintings to share, I have some images of my bigger and better studio space. The photo above is the entry space-- I liked how the light came in through the windows and hit the floor. Below is my studio space. I have not settled in yet. I am still figuring out storage and where to put things and eventually I will build walls to separate it from the larger space it is in so it will be more private.



The best part of the space is that it is over 3 times as large as my last space, better maintained, and with much higher ceilings. There are no trees growing out the roof... or faint odor of plumbing issues. I have about 250 square feet now. I had 80 before as illustrated below:



There was barely enough space to turn around or stand up and was probably better suited to a painter of miniatures. The new space costs more but it comes with better facilities, common areas, a rooftop deck, parking, community. I'm eager to get started on a new bunch of paintings & drawings. I'm in the process of planning them out now.

Also since I have been a bit behind on things I have not posted my latest big drawing (about 3x4 feet). Right now I call it "Nearby Distance" which still could change. It is another work where I try to play with mental and physical geography. The left half of the drawing is Los Angeles, the right have is the woods of New England. It is about how people can be connected even when physically apart. Even though the drawing rearranges geography and shows figures near each other- it implies an emotional distance between them that may be even more difficult to cross than the physical distance between the east & west coasts.



I'm also making more of an effort to include men in my paintings. I haven't included them very often for several reasons. Most of my paintings are a form self portraits that come from my own experiences. When I visualize things, I don't see men. It doesn't make sense in context with the ideas in my head. Substituting a man for a woman would change the meaning drastically and would raise a completely different set of issues than what I intend. When I really started painting heavily (beyond just college) I started with a series that explored vulnerability. It was ultimately about being alone in a big city... as a woman. For me the "woman" part went without saying, it was just a given since I am a woman.* Those paintings worked better with women since society sees them as "vulnerable." A man walks alone in the woods- so what. A woman does the same and she is told that is too dangerous. So swapping the figure with a man would change the meaning.

Even now that my paintings are not as much about vulnerability and have more mysterious narratives- it would still change the meaning to have a man. These days when I paint figures, the women often exist in their own internal worlds. With multiple women in one painting, I often see them as different aspects of the same person, even if their physical appearances are not the same. So including a man would feel like an intrusion of sorts. Or the painting would become more about a relationship between a man and a woman instead of a portrait of single person's internal world. Once it becomes about two characters I worry that a painting/drawing becomes even more narrative perhaps inches closer to illustration. However, I have decided to question my instinct to only use women and try to change things up without getting too far from my artistic voice. I This drawing is my first attempt, and I am working on some other ideas as well. I will probably also turn this drawing into a painting as well because I think it would be more successful in color.


*But I feel I don't need to explain that when I talk about my paintings I am now because people always ask why I paint women and I admit it is frustrating since I don't think it needs explaining.

Have some art while it snows...

I finished this drawing yesterday, tentatively called "Around." It is roughly 36x43 inches and drawn in charcoal, chalk and acrylic paint on rag paper. Because I painted part of it, it is kind of wrinkly and it was hard to get a good photo. I may try again when it is not icy and I have more patience, but this photo will do for now.

I like this drawing, but what I like most about it are little elements in it that show sparks of potential for future drawings. I got into the texture of the charcoal, and the mysterious quality that black and white images have since they don't need to be as specific as when in color. I like the background-- how in some areas it is fuzzy and unclear and has some magic in it. I also went darker in this one, and it feels very bold in person. (Partly because I painted the black areas with acrylic and went over them in charcoal to get a harder intensity.) I would like to explore some of these little things more with future drawings. I am probably going to stick with drawings for the next little bit while I work out some painting ideas and build canvases, so we'll see what happens.

Right now I am interested in repeating the same figure, and this drawing is along that line. I like having a repetition and showing a small journey by showing the same figure at different moments side by side. I am planning to do this more in depth, though sometimes I have other ideas along the way that I want to do too so it feels like I am moving slow and not accomplishing anything.

Also, I finished my new and better version of "The Birds Will be the First to Die."



I am using brighter colors now, because I don't see the point in being so faithful to reality since my scenes are meant to be worlds in their own right. This has a bright turquoise sky (thanks to Cobalt Teal!) but it looks different in person-- still bright but more solid somehow.

This idea was inspired by a report that the bird populations of the northeast are dropping, and that it is an ominous sign for humans. It's the sort of thing that makes me want to hide in my closet. But I don't. Instead I make beautiful horrifying paintings about it that makes people really really quiet when I explain it.

Here is the older version of this idea, which I absolutely hate. I tried to fix it and repaint it several times but sometimes starting over completely is the only remedy. It's much smaller, maybe 19 inches across (it's in an attic so I won't bother to measure it.) It also is a prime example of a crappy landscape. I'm not a natural landscape painter, and this is one mass of green that I couldn't conquer.



Now I'm going to go have a sandwich before I eat my keyboard, and finish writing a short story, and maybe iron a skirt for tomorrow.

Goodnight.

In the Forest

I finished this painting this week, tentatively called "In the Forest, in the Desert," (3ft by 4ft.) I've been told that is a bad title. So it might change. It is a hard one to name because I don't think it translates into words.

This is autobiographical (as always) and is a made up space with a desert on the left and northeastern woods on the right side knitted together into one space. I tried to make the landscapes different enough it was clear it was southwest meets northwest-- but not so different it looked like two different paintings. Ultimately I wanted to make a scene that took more than a brief glance to figure out.

I thought this one was done a month or two ago, but after staring at it for a while I decided some things were not working for me. I worked on some other pieces on the meantime which gave me some ideas for this one. In the end I nearly repainting the entire thing-- and repainted the figure on the right 3-4 times changing the color of her dress. It was gray, then yellow, then red. At the end I decided to make it black-- to create a rhythm with the black bird, foreground figure in black, and then a third piece of black. The red dress was too overpowering and disrupted the way a viewer should experience it. I had just painted the clothing on the figure and was about to repaint the reflection when a friend walked by and stopped me. She said the reflection should stay red. I didn't agree at the time but luckily decide to look at it for a few days. In the end, she was right, and the red reflection is just the right amount of red and adds a weirdness to the scene that I love. You can't plan everything.

Maybe I should call this painting "Nature" since I was reading a biography of Emerson while I worked on it.

Here is a detail of my favorite part:



Below is a previous painting I finished just before the holidays, "Two Coasts" (also 3ft by 4ft)



This is another one where I tried to knit east & west coast together but in a different more literal way-- with Los Angeles on the left and Boston on the right. I repeated the exact same figure but with a slightly different gaze on each.

I am exploring breaking the unity of space and time. I am thinking of having figures being repeated even more times to create a journey. I don't want to paint paintings that are a moment in time that could be captured as well or better with a camera.

When I work out the concept of a painting, I approach it more like an installation concept vs. a painting concept. Except most of my ideas are too impossible to ever make into an installation (like move New Mexico next to Vermont impossible.) I love that everything is possible in painting though.

I am currently reading "Collages" by Anais Nin. I love it. I'm reading it slowly to savor it since it is a short book and I will miss it when it is done. I recommend it for anyone who has lived in LA, or is an artist, or both.

Birds Over a Cornfield

This is my latest drawing done with charcoal, pastel and collage. It is 3 ft high & 4ft wide-- because I love big right now. It feels like you can almost walk into the drawing. It is a view of an area in Carlisle MA that I bike past-- one day I saw a flock of birds flying just over the top of the corn, circling around playfully. I tried to take pictures of the birds, but they were too quick. I think the birds I originally saw are chimney swifts-- but I'm not sure-- they wouldn't hold still so I am only judging by their general shape. The birds I put in aren't really swifts-- could not find good reference for a flock of swifts. But I thought larger birds would work better visually.

Here are details of the figure and house:





It's hard to tell from the pictures, but the birds are actually cut outs that I hand painted in acrylic for added texture. I shaded them lightly around the cut outs to give the appearance of shadow/movement so they stand out a little more. I think I will do more with collaged elements in future drawings, but subtly. I don't want to get carried away because ultimately I just love drawing itself without boundaries. I am in love with charcoal and found the process of collaging the birds here very boring-- but I like the finished effect.





More will come soon, I am behind in posting my work and am still churning out more things daily. The big drawings go especially fast and I love the immediate gratification-- so I am aiming to do one a week-- and I can still get quite a bit of painting done since the energy of drawing is carried into my painting. This new way of working is turning out to be very fluid and natural and I don't have as many "bad" art days.

I've also found that reading in my studio just before I paint is a great way to slow my mind down and get into a more patient creative mood. If I come rushing in fresh from doing emails and errands I am more likely to be flustered and lazy in my approach-- so reading adds a good buffer period. Plus I learn interesting things.

Currently I am reading a biography of Emerson (by Robert D. Richardson Jr.) and it is fascinating. I am determined to actually read some of Emerson's essays for the first time. I have always had difficulty with philosophy (I could read biography forever) but this particular biography is a great introduction and background to what I would like to ultimately understand. Currently I am at the portion where Emerson is writing "Nature." I really want to read it now-- the attention the biography gives it has set my mind to thinking-- especially when juxtaposed to what I am currently working on with art. I wrote a new artist statement yesterday, and it is already out of date after reading just a few short paragraphs of "Emerson: Mind on Fire" last night.

This is where my sister would roll my eyes and tell me I'm a nerd. But I would just remind her about her own bubbly excitement when discussing vascular dementia. (She's a doctor.) Runs in the family.

The Past and the Future

...My latest big drawing, probably my last one for a little bit because I am going to focus more on painting. I forgot the exact dimensions of this one-- I'm guessing it is about 3ft x 2 feet. Done with charcoal & acrylic gesso on rag paper. Another one with a mysterious meaning-- I don't like things to be clear. But the setting is on a cliff (Big Sur) overlooking the Pacific with one woman looking west, and one looking east. That is why I named it The Past and the Future-- sort of a bundle of themes running in my work these days-- geography, place in time, moodiness.... Pretty much autobiographical. I'm waiting for the kind people who pose for me to catch on that I am doing self portraits even though my image is not literally in the paintings. And I always want to turn things into "scenes" like stills from some bizarre movie. Perhaps that's whey I'll never be a straight portrait artist.



Here are some details: